Jennifer Beall
There are a couple of ways that I use EMDR to help clients to heal attachment wounds. One is establishing what are called “attachment resources” that I use with the standard EMDR protocol. The other is a preverbal EMDR protocol.
Most EMDR therapists, before getting to the stage where they start EMDR processing with a client, do what is called “installing resources.” EMDR can be an intense process, and it’s important to provide clients with tools to make it manageable.
Many EMDR therapists install two basic resources. The first is a (mental) container which can be used to temporarily store disturbing thoughts and feelings until it’s possible to process them. The second is a place that a client can go in their mind that feels calm, safe, peaceful, or whatever is most helpful to them.
In addition to these two resources, I install three attachment resources. These include a nurturer, a protector, and a wise figure. In my experience, more people than not who seek therapy have at least some attachment issues, and these resources can be very helpful.
All three of the attachment resources can be useful during EMDR processing. For instance, if someone is processing a memory of having felt abandoned, it can be helpful to bring in their nurturer. If they’re dealing with a frightening memory, they can bring in their protector; this can empower them to face the fear, knowing that they have backup in case they can’t handle it by themselves. If a client gets stuck during processing and is going around in circles (which is called “looping”), they can bring in their wise figure to help them to get unstuck.
Attachment resources aren’t the only way I address attachment issues in EMDR, though. I also offer a preverbal EMDR protocol. The standard EMDR protocol starts with traumatic memories and the negative thoughts that a client internalizes as a result of those traumas. This works well for traumas that happened after the client was able to form conscious memories (usually around age three or four). For traumas that happened before age three or four, though, I use the preverbal EMDR protocol. It can even heal traumas that occurred before the client was born!
If you’ve read other things I’ve written about EMDR, you probably know that I say it “resets the brain to factory specifications.” As true as that is for the standard protocol, it’s even more true for the preverbal protocol.
Attachment wounds start early, long before age three or four. The most important lessons a child learns about how the world works are learned in the first few years of life. Children learn to feel safe or unsafe based largely upon whether their caregivers are responsive to their needs in those early years.
If a trauma is preverbal, the standard protocol won’t work because you don’t have a concrete memory and a negative statement of self-belief that you can use. Instead, the preverbal protocol goes by time periods, starting with “Where were you before you were conceived?” (Yes, we go ALL the way back!) Next comes conception, then the first trimester of pregnancy, the second trimester of pregnancy, etc.
I ask clients to notice any emotions or physical sensations that arise during processing, and we work through them. After we’ve finished processing a time period, we install something positive related to that period. That may be something that came up during processing, or it may be an “ideal universe” version of that phase of development.
Each client’s experience of the preverbal protocol is different. It’s probably my favorite version of EMDR, because my clients have experienced such profound healing with it.
The preverbal protocol and the attachment resources I install before doing the standard EMDR protocol enable healing that few other types of therapy can offer. If attachment-related EMDR sounds like something you might be interested in trying, please fill out a contact form, book a free consultation, or call or text me at 410-888-0590.